Feelings and Words

FEELINGS AND WORDS

   Whisperish tone of a voice singing in calm beat with some echo in it. This is how love feels for me. I can really feel that beat playing in my ears all the time, and it's never boring. I like it being real. Keeping it like a relationship, without many word between.
   In fact, words aren't mend to explain feelings, just giving a general idea. Am I right? Have you ever said "I'm happy" to one of your best friends and they smiled to you? That's not because your word made them feel it. It's because they combine all the things that happening to your life, with your appearance in the specific moment, and the way you say it, plus what your facial expression is like when you say it. And then they can feel a little bit of a piece of happiness by remembering how they felt when they felt that happiness.
   You cannot experience the same thing as others do. So, why would anyone believe that by using a word he can make anybody understand the same personal thing? The only thing we can do is promote and express feelings, to keep mutually transmit and regenerate emotions to each others. Because in the end, we are just vibrations wandering the cosmos!

Personal Thoughts on: conservatism

PERSONAL THOUGHTS

Hello guys!

And welcome to my personal thoughts section!

So yesterday I was in university's ancient Greek literature class and our professor steps in the class and he looked like he came out of a 60's movie. And I'm like "okay people can dress however they want aye?" So he started speaking and of course there was a huge argument about young people and their values and "the way" that he thinks "young people SHOULD be"...

   

  You know what? I think that sometimes we have to accept that some things are actually happening in our world. Don't get me wrong though: it's good to be critical about anything but we cannot deny that "change" is happening. And we cannot judge other people's life choices and way of living because it's their F'in busyness, and my teacher's busyness was to teach me about ancient Greek philosophers in depth but instead of that he went hating on us for the way "we are" I swear he doesn't even know our names and literally anything about us!

   And then he started replying to me about values like that:

"Yes, but Plato said..." and mentioned some passages of a book of his... Well I've read Platonic philosophy and yes he said some very wise things... for people living in 428 B.C! And I answered with "Yes, but Plato lived in the 4th century B.C. his sayings are mostly irrelevant with our society. You seem to have an obsession with being conservative while thinking that Plato was a miracle for humanity, but let me tell you Sir that Plato was a Hell of an innovative mind with brand new ideas to bring to the world back then, in the other hand you are trying to keep the old kind of living and be old-fashioned which is completely the opposite of Socrates' and Plato's beliefs" 

    He answered by saying that I'm wrong and when I asked "why?"
he said that he has to move on with his lecture... Right... When it comes to conservative people, I really don't want any freaking near me, they make me mad...

I'm sorry about the ranting, I hope you enjoyed it!

This was an incident that caused some thoughts I really wanted to express!

Don't forget, you can always contact me via e-mail here: giagins.artist@gmail.com

and share with me your opinion about my blog and recommend me something and I'll try to make possible anything you ask me. 

Bye!

Grandeur of Glamour

CHAPTER:

Grandeur of Glamour

 Some days I just want to feel like someone else. It happens a lot. So I was sitting in Agatha's house and we were sitting in the kitchen where we're usually chatting about everything and smoking. This time she was trying a new make-up look on her, a really dark one: smokey eyes, black and red, liquid, sinister lips and catty playful eyeliner. It was fitting her glamour-goth styling so good! Her pale skin was really highlighting it.

   She is one of my best friends, we know each other since junior high-school, she's the one I've told all my secrets to. She lives in different shade of aesthetic, a very dark and horrific one. Don't get me wrong, she's cheerful and very funny, style is style and her personality is purely self-invented. She walks so proud for it, without even knowing. Many times stupid closed-minded and little-town-people called her a freak, and maybe that's why we get along so well, because we are "freaks" and proud for it. We are not pawns in someone else's game of power. Our style is singing: "...and we'll never be Royals!". 
   We usually hang out in our favorite coffee shop and talk about everything that's happening in our lives and philosophize about social relationships and everything. Other times like this one we are just sitting there in long silent pauses understanding each other deeply without even speaking. We know what each other is thinking.
   "I'm not in the mood to go out tonight" I said after I was done thinking of a good way to explain why I wasn't in the mood, I wasn't really sure to be honest. "Why?" she asked without looking at me because she was busy fixing her eyeliner line. "It's one of these rare days that I just want to stay inside and maybe read something" I said in an unsure tone so that it would sound more honest. "Okay then" she replied.
   After an hour or so we left her apartment and I walked to my house that was across the street and stayed there, with the keys in my hand, watching her continuing living. When she wasn't visible anymore, I put my keys back to my leather jacket's pocket and made my way to the nearby park.
   It was nearly midnight and I was walking through the darkest part of the park. Lights were dim and made the shadows of the trees really scary. I walked a little bit further near the backside of the building that was located near the end of the park. Humidity made air sharp enough to pass through your clothes and freeze your bones.
  Suddenly two hands were holding my shoulders lightly, and the shiver stopped. I wasn't moving and I couldn't even blink, I was paralyzed. "Hey!" he said with a soothing voice.
   All I was thinking was that I was sorry for Agatha. He took my hand and he putted it in to his hands. I am so sorry.  

    

Personal Thoughts on: Life Goals and Ambitions

PERSONAL THOUGHTS

Hello guys!

And welcome to my personal thoughts section!

   Sometimes I wake up in the morning and, when I have some spare time to just lay, I am thinking:
Pano -my real name- what have you done yesterday, how much did you work for your goals and dreams. And probably next thing I'm thinking about is: What are my goals exactly?
Because I dream big, but... sometimes my vision is not that clear, like my future. Being born in Greece and becoming an adult while we're in an economic crisis has cost my dreams a lot, but I cannot just give up on everything without trying right? 
   Some other times I think that it would be so much easier for me if I was born in a wealthy country or an english-speaking one to proceed my dreams and goals. But this is actually just an excuse. We all make our own excuses for not working, or thinking of a million reasons why we cannot do what we want and not a single one of why we actually can! I believe it is worth a shot -or two-.
People say that you must really choose what you want to do in your life based on what you love to do, and some people disagree to that. I actually agree, because when you love what you do/ create/ working on and externalize your passion then you give birth to innovations with original features and this is how this world goes one step further.
I hope you agree with me, if not, just think about it first and then feel free to disagree! I hope this tiny piece of my personal thoughts will inspire you

In my next "personal thoughts" post I will express my thoughts on: anything that will come to mind... don't really want to make a schedule in this section

Till then take care!

Don't forget, you can always contact me via e-mail here: giagins.artist@gmail.com

and share with me your opinion about my blog and recommend me something and I'll try to make anything you ask me possible. 

Bye!

  

Spilling Red Wine

CHAPTER:

Spilling Red Wine

  Whimsy glances don't affect me. People are so boring these days, trying to act like something they are not. Honey it's not the drink you drink that makes you interesting, it is that being drunk you externalize your true self.

   You drink and kiss, your lips trying to keep in bliss. You laugh and cry the way a baby keeps trying to act like mature people. You miss the truth people want to see in you. You want to get so big, but baby do you deserve all this by doing nothing?

   I don't blame you, you're so good at it. Almost as good as people that get sandwiched in buses. You're soul could be made of anything, just try not to humiliate and degrade it. That's what a poet said. 

    Enjoy the glass not only by trying to look in it. Live it. Sip it. Engage yourself and re-invent. You have a choice by enjoying it when you rewind, to make it all feel so divine.

    Carefully sipping not to spill the wine.

    The stain won't live 'till you die.

-Pete M. Yangin

 for: The Looking Glass project

Personal Thoughts: The time I moved in Corfu!

PERSONAL THOUGHTS

    Hello guys!

And welcome to my personal thoughts section!

  As I've already mentioned in my previous post I live in the town of Corfu. Some of you maybe have been here for vacations or actually live near here, and that's because Corfu island is an island full of tourists and people from Europe usually decide to live here.

  So without further ado I want to share with you my personal thoughts about my life here! 

So I moved in Corfu in August 2015 and. When my final exam’s results came online and I saw that I have passed here in Corfu I was really disappointed. And that's because I though it was another small town with people that are closed-minded and I really did want to study in a big city of Greece.       

   
   When I traveled to Corfu though, all my thoughts were changed! The place is beautiful and full of life and tourists wonder around all the time! Here are some pictures I've taken when I was actually searching for a place to rent so I could live here to attend my university:

This place has the smell of holidays!

I met new people here and built new friendships but I am still so confused about what I want to do with my life. I like writing and this blog is mostly to keep notes of my experiences so that I could write a book to show people what my life is like.

Someone may say: “What kind of experiences might a 18-year-old boy have?” So to you I recommend to stay tuned with my monologue's posts and with the artistic content that is soon to be a section of my blog, so if you are too bored to read any texts you will be able to just click on the “artistic content” section and see some pictures followed by only a tiny bit of text! 

In my next "personal thoughts" post I will express my thoughts on: Life Goals and Ambitions 

Till then take care!

Don't forget, you can always contact me via e-mail here: giagins.artist@gmail.com

and share with me your opinion about my blog and recommend me something and I'll try to make anything you ask me possible. 

Bye!

More Violence

CHAPTER:

More Violence

The Slow-Drum & Piano Melody

I enjoy life, I confess. It's different now though! I put my music on, and relax, sitting in the back seat of His car, rolling cigarettes. I feel drunk even when I have't drink at all. Sometimes reality freezes and I feel that everything is so surreal.

   Breathing-in smoke and feeling dizzy. I'm Laying back enjoying the music. Black shadowy but beautiful silhouettes are moving behind thick smoke streams. We' re young enough to not know a damn thing. Breathing-out my smoke purely for effect, I enjoy it. 

    He is watching and I know it, so I stare too. I slightly raise my eyebrow while staring. That's what my friend Eve taught me. "He is watching" she told me. I slowly shake my head in affirmation, while my eyes keep staring past the bar. She smiles and fondles my thigh. She always does that, and I feel lucky when she does. "My baby lives in shades of blue, blue eyes, jazz and attitude" I sing while smiling at her. She doesn't like the song I know it, though she smiles because she knows I'm right.

    He won't make any move I know it. Then he comes with his jaggermeister in his hand and sits back again, beside me. I turn my head to face him and he sees me and smiles, always trying to hide his grin. And every time I don't smile back and turn my head again, he will act like he doesn't care but in the next minute he will incline above my shoulder and ask me if "everything's okay?". I can see Eve looking at us from the corner of her eyes and give me a little bit of a wink, because she knows, and I know, we know... Things like that, happen all the time. "Yes, I'm fine why?" then he will shrug it off and continue talking with the rest of our friends.

    Eve's hand reaches mine under the table and we hold each other's hand. We love each other. It is difficult, but we do! It is weird what we're doing but it is fun. Why should we care anyway?  

-Pete M. Yangin

    for the Looking Glass project

Personal thoughts section opening!

Hey guys!

Sometimes people on internet -like me- want to share some personal thoughts on different things that happen in their lives. So I need to keep a diary of some thoughts that will be useful for the writing of the book process. 

This section of my blog won't have many corrections and I won't really be careful with my grammar. That's because I'm Greek and believe me I really try to use the language properly. If you don't believe me, I don't really care! :)

So before I start blogging my personal thoughts, I think it would be nice if I would tell you guys some things about me...

SO LET'S BEGIN:

I'm at the moment 18 years old Greek guy! I graduated from a Music school and I'm currently living in Corfu island. I'm studying at the University of Ionian islands: Library Science, Archiving and Museology! I love reading books, I also read books in English!

I will try to keep you informed of what I am currently reading. It would help me if you guys told me what you want me to read and talk about it! I could also make a TBR list ( stands for: To Be Read list) to let you know what books I'm interested in reading in the near future!

In my next "personal thoughts" post I will express my thoughts on: Town of Corfu! and I will post photos of that beautiful town..

Till then, take care!

You can always contact me via e-mail here: giagins.artist@gmail.com   
   

Dreaming and Lying

CHAPTER:

Dreaming and Lying

  At first, there is just a flicker. The flicker vibrates your muscles and you know you are unconscious within the next minute.

  People scream. I don't know what's happening. Am I hallucinating? Again? That terrible memory. I can hear clocks ticking, this sound can drive me crazy. I am not alone, but I'm too scared to move, too scared to open my eyes. I can feel someone's breath next to my shoulder. Shit! 

-Well, hello there!

A creepy voice said. It sounded so old and twisted, with a perfect brittish accent. When did I start dreaming in english? 

-Who are you?

I could really feel that grin radiating through my bones.

-Won't you open your eyes?

Now I was seriously starting to feel that I'm going nuts! But am I mad? Can someone know that he goes mad? The whole thing is so bizzare. I feel that I can recognise my minds reference: Alice, Alice in Wonderland.

I bet that that's what it is.

   I found the courage to open my eyes, not waking up, just to take a sneak preview of my dream. It was a round room, no corners. Marble from top to bottom with some Greek-styled columns serving in a not particular way, just scattered. As I was looking around me, colors were becoming more saturated second by second. It was driving me dizzy so quickly, it almost hurt. I sat on my knees and covered my face with my hands. Eyes closed once more. That voice again:

-Can you even survive in your own memories? This place is a mess! What have you done.

He said that last one rhetoricaly, I supposed. 

-I've told no one! I screamed.

-Well I can see that you are starting to forget. What are you trying to do?

I somehow knew what he was referring to, maybe because it was my own mind speaking to me, or something like that.

-I want to escape my past. 

I said almost ready to cry.

-You will never be able to escape it!

I didn't answer at that. I was starting to feel my jeans soaking. I remembered reading somewhere that feeling a part of your body wet in your dreams could wake you up, but I guess it was bullshit. I started at that silence, and felt that something was touching my temple. I slowly turned my head and for just a moment I took a gleam of his eyes. A mad man with a white cape full of belts and waistbands hanging from his clothes. His hair was weak, you could really tell that he was starting to go bald. Huge black circles under his eyes and an unearthly grin that could petrify anyone in terror. Then he shoot and everything was black.

   For a moment I thought that I was dead.

-Pete wake up! 

I woke up to see my friends smiling and laughing at me. I overslept. I smiled with them and said I'm sorry. I never told them any of my dreams, because if they knew what I saw, then they would maybe ask me questions that I don't want to answer and I never lie in my life, so I just leave it every time. My friends ask me sometimes if I am having dreams. I always answer them with a "seldom" and that's it. One of my biggest lies.

-Pete M. Yangin
    for the Looking Glass project

Shivers

CHAPTER:

SHIVERS

   Walking down that wet pavement again, That narrow Italian-styled street 

always brings memories in my mind to mash-up. 

Wet Pavement Monologue

     I can't clearly remember all of it. My memories sometimes are such a let-down.
But, you know what? I always remember how it felt. Hands touching, lips kissing, tongues licking recklessly, the laughter will escape my lips then. Ecstatic! I can't help but feel shivers run down my spine. But that's kind of fake.
    I mean, I remember that first time. I wasn't feeling the shiver "down my spine". It was more like: over my chest, feeling it like it was going to explode. So intense! Then the picture gets drowned into dark ripples of sensations. I can't really be less poetic. I really can't! I can't explain it otherwise.
     It's just magical. The feeling that you are actually hypnotizing someone. At this phase i really feel -even though I don't really know that person- every thought between us.Too much tension in every breath. I whispered that nobody can stop us now. We are hovering over the world in our little bubble-styled universe.
      In that state you can't really think of something. If you can then something is wrong with you, wrong choices you make, don't you? I chase my dreams just till that hour comes. Isn't it funny though? People think a lot sometimes, and then just quit it all, for that "someone".

-Pete M. Yangin

    for the Looking Glass project

Lonely Dawn

CHAPTER:

Lonely Dawn

1

At the beginning it was that feeling of freedom, but no one said that freedom is a crowded place. Freedom is lonely. Freedom is being happy and express yourself, alone. Freedom means alone.

Lonely Dawn Monologue

    I know now how people treat each other. Talking, Joking, Laughing, Saying they're having fun.

      But let me doubt that they say the truth, because I've also known the fear of being alone!

    Dreams always showed me either a full tar-black dark side, or sometimes they were bathed in sunlight's never endlessness. While reality is so much more like shades of grey, never white, never black, never entirely

colorful.

      I know when I wake up in reality, cause my senses are in pain. My eyes bleed when people misunderstand each other, I see everyone coming out as automatons, they're becoming the same. Dull. I'm unconscious playing my part. My ears buzz through endless hypocrisy and my nose smell all their rotten insides... 
     They may shine on the outside:

make up, perfumes, branded clothes of last season with delicate laces and pastel ribbons, dyed blonde hair, mascara is the new natural and lips naturally blood red 'cause "we're so fab".

   What if I chose something else. For them I'm a loser, mean, hypocrite a perverted bastard with a torn soul. So I now wake up Lonely in the morning, wearing my lonely clothes and my poker face to make coffee and go for a smoke in my lonely balcony where nobody is. Smoking my lonely cigarette and hush while I'm watching it. 

      Watching the beautiful view that has the smell of holidays. Alone. Experiencing my imagination, that works on inspiration that re-creates reality, alone in my head. And all these beautiful things, I'll share only with myself.

     I had love. It is over now. I liked it very much. Feeling the tenderness of the naked body that you don't own but stays there by choice of itself. Skin that smells. Heart that burns with desire. But in the end,- well there's always an ending. Every thing's flowing even though I felt that Tropic love. 

     I feel a true artist no matter what! People say that I'm over-reacting... Well I'm an artist art works on acting and people so close-minded may need an over-reaction to wake up from their slumber.

    The truth is I work for them

They don't know that I'm just passing by their lives to just learn.

I have to do it alone

Walk at Dawn that Long Lonely Road

So I wake up almost happy

Almost Every day

To see

What my Lonely Dawn has to give to me

-Pete M. Yangin

     

  for:   Lonely Dawn 1

Welcome to The Looking Glass Project

Hello and welcome to:
     The Looking Glass project Blog

   This blog is kind of a diary that has to do with creative writing over some themes that has to do with the book I'm currently writing.
   The posts on this blog will mostly be poetic monologues, lyrics and artistic content that has to do with the book. So I am keeping this diary to write down notes that maybe will inspire some of you to write down personal thoughts and see your life through an artistic way!
   The Looking Glass project is mostly me self-expressing my life experience through an artistic way, and also a collection of text and artistic content that has to do with my personal aesthetics that could turn out to be useful in my writing process.

   So you might wonder: who are You.
I am Pete M. Yangin and I am from Greece. At the moment I am composing this I'm studying: Library Science, Archiving and Museology at the Ionian university, which is located in the beautiful island of Corfu.

  I hope you will find my content interesting, inspiring and maybe at some point feel related it! Don't hesitate to leave comments and ask me of anything to explain or even an argument. Feel free to take part in my experience!

Contact me sending an e-mail here: giagins.artist@gmail.com